Friends of Old
by Iethena
Summary: He left to find what he had lost. He never expected to find her again, and certainly not this way. GSR WiP


Title- Friends of Old

Rating- T (just to be safe)

Pairing- GSR UST, slight CWR at first (blink and you will miss it!)

Summery- He left to find what he had lost. He never expected to find her again. And certainly not the way he did.

Disclaimer- I own nothing. Wish I did!

Spoilers- None that I can think of, notice some and tell me!

A/N- I give you… a work in progress! I am actually trying some characters other then Griss and Sara, so it could get interesting.

From my outline, it should go rather slowly for the first few chapters, but then it will get a little… interesting!

I am going to try and update once a week, so bear with me please!

Also, if you have any suggestion (especially about characterization) please, PLEASE tell me!

Every review is read slowly, and each word savored. PLEASE REVIEW!

"The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost." -- G. K. Chesterton

Friends of Old 

Chapter One

"Gil, I need to speak with you." Grissom shut his eyes, and slowly put down the report he had been reading. He leaned his head up to the ceiling and let out a quiet sigh before turning his tired eyes to the woman standing in the doorway of his office.

"Yes, Catherine?" A tall blonde CSI entered his office confidently and came to a stop right in front of his desk. She stood up straight, and clasped her hands behind her back, angled her head downward and looked straight into his eyes.

"CSI Hardy is not going to work." Grissom barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes and merely let out his breath loudly. He placed his pen down on the desk with deliberate gentleness and removed his reading glasses. _Here we go again…_

"What is wrong with Dominic?"

Catherine flipped her hair off her shoulder absently, taking barely a moment to organize her thoughts before launching in to her speech.

"He just doesn't fit with the team. He and Nick can barely stand each other, and Warrick refuses to speak with him. He is very hard on Greg's work, and you know how difficult that is for Greg." Catherine began to wave her arms around to emphasize her point. Grissom watched, a glint of amusement in his eyes.

"His technique is too different from what we do here. Yesterday, all he could talk about was this piece of machinery that we don't have here. I don't know how they put up with him in Dallas. And last week, he flirted with me at a crime scene." Catherine shook her head gravely on this last comment, and paused. After a moment, she looked back into Grissom's eyes. Her voice rose in volume as she reached the crescendo of her monologue.

"Grissom, he has got to go! If you don't fire him, he is going to tear the entire lab apart."

Grissom nodded slowly, then lowered his chin onto his folded hands and stared up at Catherine silently. She returned his gaze. The minutes passed. Catherine started to shift from foot to foot, before finally she blurted out. "What?"

Grissom remained silent for a moment more before responding. His voice was low and the words were spoken carefully and slowly.

"That argument may have convinced me six months ago. Maybe even two months ago. But not now. Do you know why?" A touch of amusement entered his voice; Catherine shifted uncomfortably, but remained silent.

Grissom continued. "Because that is the same argument you used three months ago with Kevin. And Warrick's complaint was quite similar when he came to talk with me about Vanessa. And if that wasn't enough, I can show you a copy of the written complaint Nick and Greg handed in before I fired Lisa. I am sure you could find the similarities." Grissom raised his eyebrows and stared at Catherine. She opened her mouth, and shut it without uttering a word. She tried twice more before she finally found her voice.

"Just because it isn't original doesn't make it any less true."

Grissom smiled slightly and shook his head.

"Catherine, the shift needs another CSI. The solve rates are going down because there are too many cases for us to handle. And it's not easy finding a qualified CSI who is available to work here. You just need to give them _time_. Sooner or later, you will learn to work them."

Catherine raised one elegantly sculpted eyebrow and smirked sympathetically down at her supervisor. She abandoned her straight, professional pose and sat down down lightly on the chair in front of Grissom's desk.

"Gil, there is reason people say you have no people skills. There is no way we can learn to work with Hardy." Grissom did not even blink at the mild insult. He had been hearing variants for the same thing for years, and it had long since ceased to bother him. When he failed to respond, Catherine continued.

"Grissom, the team we have right now is just fine. We work well together, and we get along. I don't want that to get destroyed. Just look at what Sara did to us." The moment the bitter snipe left her mouth, Catherine knew she had gone too far. Grissom's face seemed to tighten and the edge of humor that had been in his eyes disappeared entirely.

Catherine quickly backtracked in an attempt to cover her blunder.

"I mean…um… Sara was very good for the lab, and we got along with her eventually, but her leaving did…" Grissom waved an impatient hand and Catherine closed her mouth. She sat as still as possible and waited for him to respond. Part of her was afraid that she had pushed him to far in mentioning the absent CSI, while the other half was curious. Grissom hadn't even mentioned Sara's name in months. Maybe he would say something now…

Grissom was silent for a moment and seemed to be collecting his thoughts. When he did speak, he kept his eyes on the desk, avoiding Catherine's nervous gaze.

"Never mind Sa…her. Anyway, you just proved my point. If you give Dominic a chance, maybe you will be surprised."

Catherine shouldn't have gotten her hopes up. She let out an exasperated huff stood up again. She put her hands on either side of the desk, and leaned down until her eyes were almost level with Grissom's, willing him to look at her. Slowly, painfully, he submitted to her unspoken wish.

"Gil, it's been almost a year. You have to let Sara go. She left…" Again, Grissom cut her off.

"Catherine, you are changing the subject." Gil screwed his eyes shut and began to slowly massage his brow with his left hand.

"Could you just... try and not make this so difficult?" Catherine looked down at the hunched form of her friend, and felt the irritation seep out of her body. She had never seen him look quite so tired, so worn. The maternal instinct she had discovered with the birth of her daughter came in full force.

"Are you all right Gil?" Her voice was gentle and softer then it had been. Grissom's head shot up and he looked at Catherine questioningly.

"What do you mean?" He put his hand back on the desk and sat up a little straighter.

Catherine stared at him worriedly, her eyes traveling over his pale, lined face, and his tired eyes. He was thinner then he had been in years.

"You don't look good. When was the last time you left this office? Last time you slept? Or ate for that matter!" Grissom shook his head.

"It doesn't matter Catherine. I am _fine_."

"No, you are not…" Catherine noticed the stubborn set in Grissom's jaw and decided to switch tactics. "As supervisor of the night-shift, people look up to you. You take care of this lab, and you can't do that if you can't take care of yourself." Grissom looked down at the report held in his limb hands, but remained silent. Catherine waited. Finally, Grissom looked back at Catherine.

"I think you are right." Catherine blinked and did a mental double take.

"Excuse me?"

"I think you are right. Thank you for bringing this matter to my attention, and I will take care of it as soon as possible. I will have Dominic Hardy removed from the lab. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to write Ecklie a memo." Grissom placed his glasses back on his face, and turned to his computer, effectively dismissing her.

Catherine looked down on him sadly, and shook her head. She opened her mouth to speak, but Grissom beat her to it.

"Catherine, I have a lot of work to do. Can I help you with anything else?"

She shook her head slowly and turned around. Grissom watched her as she walked away, his eyes blank.

_The gentle strains of Mozart_ echoed from the old stereo sitting in the corner. The music calmed Grissom's tired mind, and helped him block out the distracting noise resonating from around the lab. The scientist leaned over the lit table and pulled one of the gruesome pictures closer to him. The angle of the footprint seemed a little…

"What the _hell_ is going on here?" Grissom jumped loudly at the sudden and unwelcome interruption. He moved away from the evidence he had been examining, and looked up into the irate face of the lab director. Grissom calmly peeled his gloves off and walked up to his superior.

"What can I do for you Conrad?" Ecklie stared at him in shock for a moment, his face slowly turning purple. He was clenching and unclenching his hands slowly, and a lesser man would have been cowering under his furious gaze. But Grissom stood quietly, ignoring the death glare and met Ecklie's eyes coolly.

"What can you… What can you DO FOR ME? Explain this!" Ecklie shoved a thin slip of paper under Grissom's nose, quite oblivious to the fact that it was impossible for the other man to read from that angle.

"What is this, Conrad?"

"IT is a memo from you recommending the immediate dismissal of Dominic Hardy." Conrad's breaths were coming in gulps and he seemed almost hysterical. Grissom's composed voice was doing nothing to calm the man.

"Yes, I did say he should be let go. Do you have a problem with that?" Ecklie took a couple deep breaths and when he spoke, his voice was calmer, but just as deadly.

"This is the fourth CSI you have fired in seven months. That's SEVEN MONTHS, Grissom. What the hell is going on?"

"It was brought to my attention that they were disrupting my team in different ways and I thought…"

"Yes, you thought. Grissom, I cannot continue hiring new CSIs each time one of you people has some insignificant problem… " Grissom bristled slightly at the insult directed toward his CSIs.

"I believe that my people had legitimate concerns. I don't think that you can just dismiss them…" Ecklie turned away from Grissom with huff, and began to pace the length of the room.

"I am not dismissing their concerns. If I were, I would have stopped you from firing the last three CSIs. Right now, I am questioning them." Ecklie turned and looked Grissom in the eye. His bald head glistened in the harsh light, and Grissom noted absentmindedly that he too seemed tired.

Conrad drew in a deep breath. "If this has something to do with Sidle…" Ecklie's voice trailed off slowly, and the room was silent. Grissom blinked at Ecklie in surprise._ Why was everyone bringing her up today?_

"Why would you... This has nothing to do with…" Again, Ecklie interrupted him, striding until he was standing before Grissom.

"Like HELL it doesn't. Our entire team has been going down hill since she left. You rarely leave the lab, you are don't notice how run down your team is becoming. Did you even know that every single one of your CSIs maxed out on overtime? Every one of them!" Grissom shook his head silently; he couldn't really speak with Ecklie's finger in his face. Ecklie continued on his rant.

"At first, I admired their dedication, I thought they were trying to make up for her absence. Now, I think they are all heading for burnouts." Ecklie shook his head gravely and removed his finger from Gil's face. When he looked back up though, his eyes were no less hostile.

"I don't know what happened between your team and Sidle, and I don't particularly care now that she is gone. But if it starts interfering with the job they do, I am going to start caring." Grissom stared back at Ecklie emotionlessly. Ecklie met his gaze for a moment, before his shoulders sagged and the fire in his eyes dimmed.

"I do not know what is happening to this lab Grissom, but if your people are behind all this, some of them may have to go." Grissom was surprised to see no malice in Conrad's eyes. There was exhaustion, exasperation, and a hint of compassion- but no pleasure.

Conrad shrugged. "Think about it Grissom. I know you have a good team. Don't throw that away."

_Every one else had gone._ Even Greg had left almost an hour ago. Grissom stared sightlessly at the report in front of him, his mind far away. He knew that his team was falling apart. He knew that Warrick had begun gambling again. Nick came to work smelling vaguely of alcohol, and Catherine walking around like one in a dream. Greg sat in the middle watching them sadly, liking a young child wondering what had happened to his once happy family.

Grissom could tell himself that it was all the cases; the criminals of Las Vegas has became more brutal and numerous in the past year.

Grissom wanted to blame it on Ecklie, saying he had been putting too much pressure on the team.

Grissom could even blame it on Sara- that it had been her departure that had ripped his team apart from the inside.

But the blame lay with him. For the past year, he had left his people alone. He had let his own regrets consume him and let his friends fall apart. They had come to him for guidance and he had pushed them away. He had been hard on them, pushing them as far as he could. They had taken comfort in what they could, Warrick in his cards, Nick in the drink, and Catherine in her men.

Grissom knew that he needed to do something. He needed to fix something, but he didn't even know where it had broken.

Grissom let out a shuddering breath and opened his gritty eyes. He reached down the lowest drawer of his desk and opened it. His fingers moved blindly, shifting through all papers, pens and old forgotten objects. At the very back of the drawer, they found what they sought.

Grissom pulled they heavy wooden frame from to drawer and stared at it. He needed to remember.

It was a candid shot; he didn't even remember when it had been taken. Catherine had one of her arms around Warrick's waist and drink clutched precariously in her other hand. Warrick's arms were around Catherine's shoulders, and they were leaning into each other. Nick was leaning against the wall, calling something to Warrick, most likely a comment on his friend's current position. Greg was sitting on the floor, wearing a bold, bright shirt and his hair was wildly spiked. They were all smiled widely. Off to one side, Grissom himself stood. Next to him, a tall beautiful woman was standing. Sara's hand was resting lightly on his arm, and her face turned up to his. He was looking down on her, replying to the comment she had just made. He looked almost happy.

Grissom looked down at the picture, his jaw set tightly. He slowly traced the outline of Sara's face with his finger, caressing lovingly as he had never allowed himself to do when she was here.

It was only when he was alone that he brought out this picture. Only when he was feeling especially down that he indulged in the memory of happiness. She had been so lovely. He wished…

Grissom dropped the picture onto his desk. He lifted it with two fingered and shoved it back into the drawer from it had come from.

He sat at his desk, unspeaking, unmoving.

When had things fallen apart?

TBC….

AH, those beautiful words…..


End file.
